MUSINGS OF ASPIRATION
Teaching, Singing and Reaching for the Stars
The Story so far...
The pictures here basically tell the story of the people that helped to realise my dream. There are three very strong themes that run through my personal tale: friendship, family and fits. Without these elements I would never have had the courage to make such a drastic life change... but I've jumped ahead: let's start at the very beginning (... it's a very good place to start...)
Firm Foundations
The young boy in the top row is my dad. My dad was a St Pat's lad, which will mean nothing unless you are from North Manchester. Basically it means that he went to a large Catholic school and was taught by the Brothers. My mum is in the top right had corner and the beautiful baby in the middle, is me. I am an only child and had a very loving, supportive childhood.
As a child my uncle lived a few doors down the street from us. My uncle had schizophrenia so from a young age I was very aware of what mental illness looked like and the affect it has on the surrounding family and friends. He was also my Godfather and some of my earliest memories are of going to 6.30pm mass with him.
My own primary school is linked to the parish we live in. The school was a tight-knit community and had stong links wth the parish. All went well until I reached the age of 7, at which point I started having seizures. I developed epilepsy. Nevertheless, life goes on and I made my first holy communion with my friends.
I enjoyed primary school, although I did not have particularly strong friendship groups, I enjoyed learning - and getting things right. In fact, in Class 2 (it would be Year 1 now), my mum was informed that I was a perfectionist - my artwork would improve if only I would get things wrong occasionally; I'm still working on that little foible!
Troublesome Teens
All went reasonably well until I hit my teens, at which point my epilepsy went into overdrive. I was having at least one grand mal seizure each week with multiple absences every day. This obviously did nothing for my school work but I managed to leave school with 5 GCSE's and a friend for life.
I met Clare when I was in 2nd Year (Yr 8 in today's lingo). She had just moved back to Manchester from Germany and was two years above me in school. We met through the school choir and it must have been a meeting of kindred spirits because no matter how hard we try, we can't get rid of each other! All joking aside Clare has been my rock through thick and thin and is the sister I never had. Thankfully Clare was calm under pressure and was confident in 'dealing' with me when I had a fit, which enabled me to have a semblence of freedom. Year's later when my epilepsy was well controlled a consultant commented that the dosages of medication I had been on would have 'knocked a horse out': that explains why I have little memory of my teenage years then!
Turning Point
As a consequence of such severe epilepsy it was not possible for me to pursue A Levels, or even to start work when I left sixth form college. it was not until I was 20 that i was able to return to education to gain professional qualifications that would equip me for work. It was at the start of a secretarial course that I was referred to a specialist epilepsy centre - the David Lewis Centre. And it was here that I was diagnosed with both epileptic AND non-epileptic seizures. Because I had experienced so many seizures, my brain's response to stress was to have a seizure, but that did not always mean it was epileptic in nature.
After a week in the David Lewis Centre I took a little while to regroup and assess my philosophy of life. I am a natural worrier, however it was at this point in my life that I realised that it was making me physically ill. I began to categorise problems into things that I could change, and things that I couldn't. The things I could change - I allowed myself to mull over and work the problem out. The things I couldn't got shelved for another day. It wasn't easy but it solve half the problem - the non-epileptic seizures stopped. I was down to 2-3 grand mal seizures a month which was fantastic for me!
Working Girl
In 2000 I got a job at the college that I trained at. I started on work experience and gradually moved up to administrative assistant and when I left five years later I was personal secretary to the Director of Finance. From there I moved to a legal firm and then my life changed again - I had a baby.
John changed my life entirely, as all babies do. I never did go back to the legal firm to work and I was very fortunate that I was able to stay at home with him for a number of years as a stay at home mum. The only downside was that the seizures started again with a vengence, and no warning. So with a small baby to consider it was decided it would be safer for us to move back in with my parents for John's safety.
When John was 2 I went back to work - and promptly fell pregnant again! This time with a baby girl, Beth. And this time the fits settled down. After a single seizure 4 weeks after Beth was born I didn't have another... and I'm still seizure free.
I returned to work when Beth was 18 months old and got a job in the NHS where I worked my way up to a Band 4 administrator.
Trickling thoughts
It was whilst working as a Senior Team Administrator that I first started revisiting my childhood dream. The training delivery requirements of the role made me realise how much I enjoyed helping people learn. I went on to study for a medical secretarial qualification which included a numeracy and literacy key skills element. Again, whilst helping fellow students I realised not only did I enjoy helping others learn, I wasn't too bad at it either. At this point I was contemplating looking for a TA role but finances were rather prohibitive as it would entail a drop in pay.
Life's too short!
2014 was a pivotal year for me. In February 2014, my dad died following a very brief but chronic illness. I was able to come to terms with the loss through my faith, and the comfort that he was no longer in pain or suffering any further loss of dignity. However, it did highlight one thing to me: life is too short not to follow your dreams and be happy.
Throughout the spring and summer of 2014 I was repeatedly asked if I was a teacher. I don't know if this was something that I was only just hearing, but I felt as if something - or someone was telling me not to turn my back on my original vocation. And teaching is a vocation - or calling, in my own humble opinion.
In August 2014 after a pilgrimage with Salford Diocese to Lourdes I finally decided to do a bit of research to discover what would be required for me to train to become a primary teacher. Almost the very first website I came across was the Fastrack to Teaching course run by Edge Hill University. After filling in an application form and attending an interview I was offered a place on the Fastrack to Teaching Maths course.
And the rest is history...
As this blog is of a trainee teacher it is quite obvious that I passed the Fastrack and since September 2015 I have been on the Primary Education with QTS BA hons programme at Edge Hill University, though I have changed my specialism to science rather than maths. The Fastrack course not only provided me with a route into higher education, it also connected me with more wonderful friends who support me through the trials and tribulations of a trainee teacher, with two primary school children - it makes a difference!
My first placement took place November 2015 - February 2016, but I didn't start feeling like a teacher until about April 2016 - so I'm not sure how that works! I know one thing though... I would never have got through this year, this life, without the support of my firends and my family. They mean the world to me and I hope they know it.
My teaching philosophy is still a work in progress. I am at the start of a new adventure and I am only just developing my identity as a teacher. However, the influences throughout my life of my faith, my friends, family and educators will all influence my ethos and I am already firm on one aspect of my ethos - a child's wellbeing must be placed above statistics every time, be that physical or mental. It is the educators' role to find a way to teach the child and ensure progress via creative and innovative methods. I know this is not easy but if I do not dream to be the inspirational teacher who the children remember for the right reasons, then there really is no point continuing.